High on beer, low on drama

Sunday Times - March 2 2014

TELFORD VICE, Newlands

Newlands had its endless sunshine, brooding mountain, bubbly crowd, beery atmosphere, and passing trains tooting cheerfully yesterday. But it was short on drama, and without that the opening act of the third test between SA and Australia was just another perfect day.

However, Newlands did have David Warner’s 135, the first of his five innings on tour that has not been blighted by chances. Not that Warner himself is unsullied after casting oddly admiring aspersions on what the South Africans did to make the ball reverse swing during the second test.

Consequently when Warner reached his century the applause by SA’s players was more perfunctory than polite.

But AB de Villiers, the target of Warner’s comments, stood with hands unmoved from hips. Perhaps the iron filings or cheese grater or whatever Warner did not quite say De Villiers had secreted into his gloves to make the ball go round corners prevented the wicketkeeper from showing his appreciation for a classy, mature performance by a man about whom such things are not often said.

De Villiers’ was more animated after tea, when Warner pushed at a JP Duminy delivery. The edge was juggled but held. Amazing stuff flypaper, eh, David?

Mark Boucher took the International Cricket Council to task for docking Faf du Plessis half his match fee for a second wardrobe malfunction in 12 months - he had dared to wear green laces last week after sporting red shoe tongues in November - but taking only 15 percent from Warner.

The ICC, Boucher muttered on television, needed to consider “what’s important to the game and what isn’t”.

But nothing and no-one could take from Warner an innings that was a major reason Australia reached stumps on 331/3. Another was Michael Clarke’s unbeaten 92.

Still another was Dale Steyn limping of with a hamstring problem in the second session. He faces a fitness test this morning, and he needs to pass it if SA are to stop Australia from batting them out of the match and the series.

Then there was the pitch, which was ready on Friday and so had much of its early spice scattered by the sun and wind of the intervening 24 hours.

SA will also need to bowl a shorter length today. “It’s disappointing; we know we’re far better,” Allan Donald said. “We’ve got to come out with a brand new attitude. Attitude, discipline and skill are the buzzwords.”

On top of that, SA will need to find a cure for Clarke, who survived a fearsome examination by Morne Morkel and a chance on 26 at slip - where a cut off Dean Elgar flew too fast for Graeme Smith.

“(Morkel’s) spell was worth two or three wickets,” Donald said. “It was a great piece of theatre to see how he roughed up (Clarke).”

Shane Warne recalled how Morkel “hit Michael in the ear, the jaw, the head. But Michael said, ‘Over my dead body will you get me out’.”

Clarke was part of an unbroken stand of 114 with the understated Steve Smith, who was 50 not out, that marked the first time in 75 years that SA had conceded half-century partnerships to their opponents’ top four pairs. Not quite a perfect day, then.