Leading Edge: Protea backfire

Sunday Times

TELFORD VICE, Melbourne

IT started with tinsel and ended in tears. There was so much wrong with the way SA approached this World Cup, from the ridiculous fuss made at the announcement of their squad to the outrageous nonsense that accompanied their send-off to their seeming inability to do anything without a consultant hovering, to the selection of Vernon Philander ahead of Kyle Abbott for the semi-final. Call this what it is: Protea backfire.

The place for marketing in cricket is on lampposts. It should never be allowed to involve players or coaches or anyone who has a proper job.

Cricket SA’s marketing went mad before the World Cup. Whoever decided an extravaganza of a squad announcement was required when a simple e-mail would have done exactly the same job should be fired. Or at least have their budget castrated.

The same goes for the embarrassment that was the squad’s soap opera of a farewell. How much money was wasted on that, and for what exactly? What happened to going to the airport, signing autographs for the fans who turn up, posing for a few pictures, saying goodbye, and getting onto the plane?

Note that all this was done for a team who had yet to win a World Cup. And what have they returned as? A team who still haven’t won a World Cup.

After all that unnecessary piffle, SA finally arrived Down Under. The madness was behind them. Except that it was not. All it did was shift into a new shape - chronic consultantinitus.

Already have Allan Donald as your bowling coach? What the hell: have Charl Langeveldt as well. Russell Domingo is your head coach? Why don’t we add Gary Kirsten to the mix as well? That will undermine the current head coach? Nah, it won’t do that. Oh, and here’s Michael Hussey as well. After all, it’s not as if you guys have ever been to the Antipodes before, so you have no clue how their pitches are going to play. And remember Mike Horn, he who was not Marlon Brando of Apocalypse Not Now - the tour to England in 2012? Well, he’s back to tell you to climb every mountain. Or something.

SA’s support staff outnumbered their players. In fact, there were times at practice sessions when it was difficult to see the players for the jam stealers. What were they all doing? Did the consultants have consultants themselves?

And Philander for Abbott? A bowler who has missed four out of seven games through injury and didn’t look in the best of form when he was fit being dragged in from the cold to replace, in the biggest game in SA cricket history, someone who had played his heart out and got the results? What indefensible folly.

None of the above would have hit the radar had SA reached the final. If they had, the over the top approach would have been held up as the rollercoaster superslide to success.

Instead, if we weren’t all so pissed off with how this World Cup ended for SA, it would be funny. One day, when SA simply get on with playing cricket, it will be. Until then, expect plenty more tears.