Who will win the Battle of the Beards, the War of the Whiskers?

Times Media

TELFORD VICE, Johannesburg

Not many spectators were around to see a pair of beards with blokes attached enjoy a natter on the boundary at New Road in Worcester amid lengthening shadows on July 27, 2012.

What were they splitting hairs about? A good place to get trimmed? The latest in shampoo? How to avoid being caught in a zip?

None of the above, probably. One of the attachments was Hashim Amla. The other was Moeen Ali. Both are Muslim, and they were probably discussing mosque or halaal dining options for the evening - July 27, 2012 was a Friday.

Amla was part of the SA squad touring England. Ali was in the Worcestershire side who were playing a tour match against the South Africans.

Tomorrow, they will be in opposing dugouts when SA play England in a World T20 match in Chittagong. Call it what it is: the War of the Whiskers, the Battle of the Beards.

Faith is not all Amla and Ali have in common. Amla captained SA at the under-19 World Cup in 2002, where they reached the final. Four years later, Ali led England to the semi-finals of the same tournament.

Ahmed Amla, four years older than Hashim, was a fixture in the Dolphins side before his retirement last season. Kadeer Ali, Moeen’s older brother by five years, has played 103 first-class matches for four counties.

There are also differences between the two. Amla’s heritage is Indian, Ali’s Pakistani. Ali bats left-handed and bowls respectable off-spin. Amla takes guard from the right side of the crease and would be in clear and present danger of being called for chucking if he dared to "bowl" his medium pace in a proper game.

But the most obvious factor linking Amla to Ali from a distance of 100 metres or more is their bushy, bountiful, bristling beards.

For years, Amla’s has been the most magnificent in all of cricket, although Mohammad Yousuf’s rates an honourable mention. Now, Ali’s is rivalling Amla’s Ali is five centimetres taller than Amla, but the Englishman is noticeably slighter - which makes it difficult to judge which of their beards is longer, wider or bushier. Certainly, Ali’s seems to hide more of his person than Amla’s.

When WG Grace and his beard bestrode the cricket world, the game was big enough for only one hirsute hero. Cricket is much bigger now, and we might think there is room for two. There isn’t.

Could there be anything more important to decide in Chittagong tomorrow than the Battle of the Beards, the War of the Whiskers?