SA Cricket magazine
TELFORD VICE, Cape Town
“AND over there in 1493,” a cab driver told the South Africans in his taxi as we puttered past an impossibly beautiful stretch of the Caribbean Sea lapping gently onto the shores of St Kitts on another perfect day during the 2007 World Cup, “the Amerindians discovered Columbus on the beach”.
Since then, and discounting the five Tests against Bangladesh and India on West Indies’ schedule before their arrival in South Africa in December, the Windies have played 62 Tests, won 12 of them, lost 30 and drawn 20. In the same period, South Africa have played 67, won 37, lost 14 and drawn 16.
South Africa have won more than twice as often as they have done anything else, and West Indies have lost more than double the number of matches they have won. Even drawing is significantly rarer than winning for them.
One of these not so perfect days, cricketminded West Indians will be desperate enough to re-discover the steel and soul of their team by looking for talent in games played by amateurs on the beach.
Yes, it is that bad. Once great, the West Indians are now some way short of mediocre. They are a poor excuse for the magnificent men in the maroon caps who came before them, players who added swagger to skill and topped up their talent with passion.
How about the International Cricket Council (ICC) promotes sides like Ireland, Nepal, the Netherlands or Afghanistan to the Test arena and dumps under-performing husks of history like West Indies? Hang on: that would require balls and the suits have sold theirs to the Big Three.
So, here the Windies are. Again. Back in South Africa to play three Tests that even cricket’s most pitiful tragics will struggle to pretend are relevant.
All we can do is hope that this West Indian team can do what no other has done in South Africa - be competitive for long enough to earn respect. A large part of the responsibility for making that happen will be on the shoulders of Denesh Ramdin, their new captain.
The portents are not favourable. The Windies have won one of the dozen Tests they have played in South Africa: the first match in 2007-08, when they were victorious by 128 runs at St George’s Park. Ramdin’s contribution with the bat? One and nought.
His first job as captain was a home series against New Zealand in June. That he lost all three tosses is no-one’s fault. But going down 2-1 in the series is an indelible mark against his name.
You lost to New Zealand? At home? How the hell?
Of the 20 Tests West Indies and New Zealand played between March, 1969 and April, 1996, the Kiwis won two. In less than a month this year, the Black Caps achieved as many victories against the Windies as they once did in the same number of years as Nelson Mandela was in prison. The difference, of course, is that West Indies had a proper team for many of those 27 years.
Chris Gayle, Shivnarine and Darren Bravo are the only members of the top six in the team that lost the third Test against New Zealand who emerged from that series with an average above 40. Ramdin? A distinctly middling 27.74. In the South African side who beat Zimbabwe in Harare in August, Faf du Plessis, Hashim Amla and AB de Villiers all averaged higher than 50.
Worse, Ramdin’s reaction to being appointed captain was as boring as it gets:
“It is an honour to be named as captain of the West Indies Test team. This is a huge opportunity and as a unit we are capable of representing the people of the West Indies.
“It is something very special to represent the people of the West Indies and to be named to lead the Test team and chart the course forward is humbling and extra special.
“I thank the WICB (West Indies Cricket Board) for affording me this incredible opportunity and I also thank the TTCB (Trinidad and Tobago Cricket Board) for the opportunity to lead Trinidad and Tobago.
“I am taking over from Darren (Sammy) who did a good job while he was at the helm. He is a very humble and hardworking cricketer.”
Morne van Wyk would have sounded more excited regardless of how many sleeping pills he had taken. But there may yet be reason to respect Ramdin.
Not many among us would have the courage to take on Viv Richards, a man tough enough to make Mark Boucher seem soft.
When Ramdin reached a century against England at Edgbaston in June, 2012, he took off his helmet and fetched from his pocket a sign scrawled in an angry hand: “Yea Viv Talk Nah” - a reaction to Richards criticising his form earlier in the series both in front of and behind the stumps. Big ups, young man. Of course, the ball-less IC bloody C fined Ramdin for his chutzpah.
Less impressively, Ramdin was suspended for two matches in last year’s Champions Trophy in England for claiming a catch that wasn’t. However, even that shows there is a hardness to him that is not often seen in Caribbean cricketers these days.
He captained the Windies to the 2004 under-19 World Cup final, led the A team as well as Trinidad and Tobago, and served as Sammy’s deputy. At 29, he should have enough sense and experience to take the big step up. Now all he needs to make a success of it is a good enough team.
Ah. The hard part.
Sidebar: Grumpy Smurf gets the job done
SHIVNARINE Chanderpaul’s eyes were hot coals as he glared at the gathered press from behind a table in a room deep in the bowels of the Bourda after two days of the first Test against South Africa in Georgetown, Guyana, on April 1, 2005.
What Chanderpaul had to be grumpy about was not apparent. He had scored his first Test double century, 203 not out, and shared with Wavell Hinds - who made 213 - a stand of 284. On top of all that, the Windies had declared their first innings closed on 543/6.
Yet the closest Chanderpaul came to delivering a remotely interesting line, nevermind smiling, at his press conference was, “You don’t expect to be given runs by South Africa. It was up to us to go out there and do our jobs as batsmen.”
For the rest, he glowered at us and smirked at his ability to use as few words as possible to say nothing.
Had Chanderpaul been the victim of a particularly silly April Fool joke? No. He was and remains simply that rare thing for a cricketer: serious, a quality that has helped him do much more than his bit to hold West Indies’ batting together for the past 20 years.
Chanderpaul’s technique makes him look like a man putting up a beach umbrella in a gale, and at 1.73m tall and skinny he is not imposing.
But there is no doubting his presence. He arrives at the crease like a man ready for work. Often, when he leaves, the job has been done.
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